Love (and sex) in the time of Ebola

scroguard

You know you aren’t updating your blog as often as you used to when the readers begin asking whether you are still alive or what. So let me reassure you: I am just very busy working on a couple of huge projects which require most of my attention. Beside this I am pretty fine, thank you, and surely not down with Ebola, the scare du jour that’s so prominent in headlines and fears everywhere.
In fact, the worldwide terror of pandemic diseases needed just a month to infect the world of sex products as well. The item in the above picture is called Scroguard, and became an overnight success thanks to the widespread disinformation and paranoia surrounding the contagion panic of the last few weeks. These latex briefs are designed to be worn with a regular rubber, to protect you from any unwanted scrotal contact with virus-ridden genitals when you have sex with a stranger. As the official website explain:  «put it on, put condom on, make love».

It’s a sort of a shame that, according to the accompanying photo, “make love” apparently means passionately kissing your biohazardous partner, since a wet kiss is a great way to contract a number of pretty serious sexually transmitted diseases – or Ebola, if you insist on fucking people who can’t even stand up because of the terrible fever they’re running. But who cares about logic? After all, we’re talking about pure irrationality here.
Unfortunately, when it comes to STDs being rational is much more effective than any crazy gimmick. For a start you should really consult a reliable, unbiased information source like the CDC webpage – but here is a summary of what you should know at the least:

  • Sexually transmitted disease are more widespread than you probably think
  • AIDS is the real bastard, but other infections can also become very dangerous too if left untreated
  • Using a condom helps a lot and is very recommended, but some STDs are also transmitted via oral sex, French kissing, shared sex toys and other acts you may have thought as safe
  • The actual probability of catching something is rather small…
  • …but dramatically increases with the number of sexual encounters and partners you have, so don’t count on your luck
  • Most countries have programs for anonymous and free STDs testing you should really use
  • The majority of STDs can be treated pretty easily…
  • …except those that cannot, and they are unfortunately on the rise
  • As a matter of fact, AIDS is on the rise too due to lack of public awareness campaigning – also among heterosexuals, teenagers and seniors

Life is a bitch, isn’t it? However, pretending that reality doesn’t work as described above won’t help anyone – quite the contrary, in fact. The good news is that practicing safer sex is better than having no sex at all (or getting hospitalized or dead for it). Also, it only takes a little creativity to find lots of alternative erotic games which are pretty safe and very hot nonetheless.
According to a widely accepted theory, the sudden explosion of fetish in the Eighties was partially caused by the worldwide campaigns for HIV prevention, that steered many smart libertines toward less risky forms of sex. As a confirmation, another multidisciplinary research showed that the periodical obsession for foot fetishism throughout history coincides with peaks – and the consequent decline – of nasty epidemics of syphilis or gonorrhea. In a sense, going kinky can actually save your life!

Another important fact to keep in mind is that safer sex doesn’t require abstinence, nor monogamy. Provided that you get tested, that you only have sex with recently tested partners and none of you fools around with potentially infected outsiders, you can be as debauched as you want. This is why I for one advocate closed polyamory circles. Just remember that one stupid slip can render the exercise futile for all the members, ok?
In any case, sexual contact with new, untested partners should always be treated as potentially hazardous – if not for your own safety, as a courtesy toward the other person since he or she cannot know your STD status. Again, using a condom drastically decreases the risks… and lots of research is underway to make them more comfortable and easy to use, not to mention cheaper. In the meantime, keeping a clear and level head still remains the best way to keep out of trouble.

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