A bimbo’s life

Blondie Bennett

In these days the Italian media are all excited – as usual – about the wrong news. As the world is panicking, serious politics are but a vague memory and even the Sanremo Song Festival ain’t worth mentioning anymore, the papers and the online news have decided to act scandalized about Blondie Bennett.
The 38-years old Californian woman in the picture on the left recently stated in a press release how happy she is now that she has finally become an idiot – and in an exemplary case of poetic irony, journalists appeared dumber than her by taking the bait of her stunt. Net result: tons of free publicity for the lady, and the sudden popularization of thebimbos phenomenon.

A ‘bimbo’ is, of course, a very stupid and very flashy girl, of the kind who’d do anything for a new handbag, a fluorescent French manicure or a pink convertible. In short, a loose real-life Barbie doll in flesh, blood and silicone. And the most unsettling part of this is that, for a certain kind of person, ‘bimbo’ is not an insult but an ambition.
In fact, miss Bennett is just one of the thousands girls who invest an enormous quantity of effort and money into transforming themselves in exaggerated sex dolls. Their metamorphosis doesn’t stop with the countless cosmetic surgeries required to attain unnatural proportions, nor with the constant touching up of hair, makeup, tan and other beauticians’ arcana: the changes also involve their very minds.

Why should you suffer thinking when life is so much easier without a brain, and your only concern is to choose the next mini-dress to make heads turn? In the bimbos “philosophy” the ideal goal is not to be part of the human species anymore: not in looks, nor in their social relations. To elicit outrage in normal people and «be unable to hide» is actually seen as proof that the objective has been reached – provided that the public disapproval is accompanied by private lust. After all, the regular job market has no place for that kind of bodies, so the only way to sustain their extravagant lifestyle bimbos have to prostitute themselves between go-go dancing gigs. And since they have to be noticed to attract more tricks… there you have a somewhat perfect vicious circle.
Also, this is where Bennett’s press release comes into play. According to her story, she is even undergoing regular hypnosis sessions to make her dumber and a «better» flesh doll. She says that to find herself unable to remember whether she has to go to an airport’s Arrivals or Departures to pick up a friend feels like a blessed deliverance from everyday worries.

You only have to visit one among the many bimbo-related websites to find countless similarly-sounding statements. «Look how wonderfully vacuous my eyes are in this picture!» writes one girl; «Don’t I look totally fake, perfectly useless but for fucking?» enthuses another, and so on. If you ask a psychologist, you’ll learn that this sort of de-responsibilization wish and desire to “take a holiday from oneself” is rather common… if it remains a fantasy or an occasional game. The level of botox-induced delusions displayed by some bimbos however is plainly pathological – unless there is something else behind it.
Incidentally, one of the most famous nicknames for the Barbie doll here in Italy is ‘Algid Bitch’: if you really think about it, all those forced smiles and pretty dresses of hers might well hide a diabolical mind taking advantage of an apparent shallowness to play innocents along and rule them.  Seriously: is it really possible that for a dimwit to perfectly manage dozens of online stores for her videos and finely marketing-orientedTwitter account? Are you sure that someone asking for – and getting! – Amazon gift coupons from her fans in exchange of «customized photos» is less clever than anyone enduring a stressful 9-to-5 job? Was that press release an embarrassing mistake, or a wonderful free advertisement raking in clients from all over the world?

Yup, the reality of bimbos is quite different from the fantasy. Sure, not all of them are shrewd entrepreneurs… but often behind the makeup and the oversized tits lies a cunning strategy of titillating the basest male fantasies in order to build up a princely retirement fund. Pretend-ditz are nothing new, just like gullible marks ready to give all to be with an “ideal” female, if only virtually. The real news is that in the past to be a mistress you had to actually compromise yourself, while now intelligent women can simply create an online persona for this.
If she is as astute as I hope for her, Blondie Bennett might follow in the steps of lots of her peers and, in a few years, have a final surgery to remove those unwieldy airbags. Then she’ll only have to remove her makeup to start a very well-off new life, actually without having had one trouble to worry about. Is that bimbo enough for you?

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