Somebody please stop the oral lube madness!
All right, you got me – but now somebody please explain the joke. I mean, I actuallywrote the book about weird sex practices… but I am just not figuring this out: what’s the deal with oral sex lube? Like, while its implications are horrific, I can understand theShakuhachi genital freshener (but not its ingredients: go check them out). I also can get my mind around the sperm taste enhancer gel strips.
Then we had the kosher flavored oral lube, and all reason jumped its tracks in search of any possibly sensible meaning to that news. No, seriously: is there really somebody out there whose mouth is so sandpapery-dry as to require a substitute for, you know, drool? But don’t even mind this, for something even more absurd popped up today.
Cheekychacha is a small Chicago company whose two cute founders are currently running an Indiegogo campaign to get their product financed. It is vegan, gluten-free, preservatives-free, all-American and good for your teeth. And it is a sexual lubricant.
No joke. There really is people who thought that something called Blowpaste could be a great invention. I don’t even want to think whether you are supposed to actually brush your teeth with it, gargle, coat your palate with it or whatever – just listen to what the guys have to say about it.