Brothels have proof the world isn’t ending soon


Hopefully my readers aren’t imbeciles, so if you are reading this you already know that the world isn’t ending anytime soon no matter what fake “predictions” say. Should you need any further proof, however, you may want to check your local brothel’s price list: if it isn’t showing exceptional discounts, there is no danger looming. How do we know this, you ask? Simple: because in an extremely lethal area the prices did go down – to about one third of the regular rates.

I’m talking about the soaplands in Fukushima, which you might remember as the site of the second-worst nuclear contamination accident in history. While the dynamics are too different to compare, the current risk of radiation exposure in the area is about one third than taking a stroll in Chernobyl when the plant blew up – which is to say damn too high.
This is why the imposing reconstruction workforce is mostly composed of crazy lowlifes and desperados so unruly that authorities were forced to keep them segregated inside the “exclusion zone” to prevent them to just destroy the city proper.

Given that most people had evacuated already, this deprived local business of customers, inspiring them to launch specials to try and gain some public – soaplands included. The thinly disguised brothels already displayed a remarkable entrepreneurial spirit when they had to invent alternative means of procuring hot water for their baths after the tsunami destroyed the normal water system; recently they moved on to aggressive marketing schemes involving 66% discounts and special ‘early bird rates’ to keep afloat… and they do.
In fact, the success of potentially-deadly-sexy-soap baths in Fukushima is so huge that customers are coming in from distant towns to try the inexpensive experience. The “health clubs” are actually recruiting awa himes (‘soap princesses’) from all over the country in order to keep up with the requests. Now I wonder what the nightlife must be like in Prypiat